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September 2007 A Pint with Forrest Gump
Whenever a workmate has a bad experience in a pub, I inevitably get to hear about it and I find myself trying to justify the pubs position to a certain extent. However, one recent event recounted to me had me perched firmly on the fence. I could see both sides of the argument and thought each party had elements of right and wrong, so I mentioned it at a CAMRA meeting and it quickly turned into a heated debate. So consider this:- A man walks into a pub with his wife. He orders a pint of cider for his good lady. While the chap likes his real ale, he is no expert and does not recognise a few of the guest beers, so asks the barkeeper what they are like. Unfortunately, the barman does not know. The customer asks if it would be possible for a ‘taster’ to see what the beer is like. It then went something like this: “You what?” “Well, I don’t know what it is like, so I don’t want to buy a pint only to find I don’t like it.” “Never had that before!” “I know several places which do it.” “Well, go on then, but this is most unusual.” Reluctantly a sample is given. Typically, it is not to the customer’s taste. (Can’t you see what is coming next?) “Oo no, I don’t like that. What is the other like?” “Are you taking the rise? What do you want to do, sample each drink we offer and say you don’t like any of them? How can you tell if you like a beer from just a taste like that?” “Well, its not that I can tell if I like it, but I can certainly tell if I do not like it and I that was not to my taste.” A second sample is refused. Heated words are exchanged before the couple leave after buying a pint of cider and vowing never to return. So, who was right, who was wrong? As Forrest Gump’s mother said in the film, “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never quite know what you are going to get.” Perhaps the same could be applied to some of the cask beers we see on the bars of freehouses these days. In the past, beers were generally name after their style, bitter, mild, best bitter, strong ale etc. To think of a few brews I have supped, there are names such as Celtic Warrior, Sunchaser, Chinook, Crop Circle and northern County. To the normal punter these names would mean very little towards what style of beer was on offer. With wines you often taste notes, but not so often for beers. So in some ways the customer has to choose a name which appeals rather than a taste. Even when a name suggests a style customers can be oblivious, I recall being at the bar in the Hogshead in Preston a few years ago when a customer had their pint of Black Cat put in front of them and commented, genuinely surprised that it was darker than they expected! Many renowned cask ale pubs advertise that you can sample a beer before you buy, the Hogshead being a good case in the past. The Tap & Spile chain used to have nip glasses (1/3 pint) so you could try three beers for the price of one. More recently I have seen tasting notes on the back of pump clips, giving the bartender information on the beer for taste and appearance. There is always going to be the argument from the customer that it is only a little bit in the bottom of the glass. Little bits, of course, add up to big bits. All the ale in the cask has to be paid for by the pub, so maybe it would be better for a pub to increase its prices if it is to offer tasters. Also, there are plenty of stories of taster offers being taken advantage of. There was one chap who in protest at the high prices then being charged at the Hogshead (mid ‘90s) would sample each beer, thank the staff and leave. (Who is the butt of the joke here? The pub for letting him get away with it or the chap who walks 20 minutes each way from the station?) Also from the pubs point of view, who is this one bloke who tells them he wants to try before he buys? Who does he think he is? Okay, before you buy a car, you would expect to take it for a test drive, but no normal person would not take some dirty clothes into a domestic appliance shop when looking to choose a washing machine (I was told to leave in no uncertain terms!). The customer certainly has no right to a taster. Perhaps the customer could have approached it differently by asking “which is the best?” instead of simply asking. Perhaps the barstaff could have been a bit more understanding, but how is the barstaff expected to deal with a particularly recalcitrant customer with a custom made wallet which will inevitably stay in their pocket? Or perhaps the customer should have just had a pint of a well known brand in keg form as it is always the same. Or maybe Mama Gump should have said “life is like a randomly named guest beer….”
J Mark Ashton
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